There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
