i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
