Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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