You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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