actually, I'm a sock model
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
