I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I faked an abortion last night.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
