I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
