is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
