thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
