Grow some girl-balls and come out already
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Randomize
