Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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