her vagine was all disorganized.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
