She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I was not drunk enough for that final.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
