apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Randomize
