Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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