We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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