Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
