i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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