I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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