so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
