It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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