Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
