Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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