I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
