Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
