so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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