I want to stick my p in your. b.
my shit smells like andre
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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