Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
