we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she told me i tasted like america
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
