Have you finally orgasmed yet?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
