i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
