bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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