Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
