Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
