turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
