To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize