yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
