i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
