we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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