Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
