I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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