i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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