you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
