also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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