My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
