Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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