she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize