Christians are straight up FREAKS
D3 body, D1 cock
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
