I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
