some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize