I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm at about main and main street
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
