ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
