Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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