i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
