Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
