i think my tv is drunk
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
