ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
