I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We just shotgunned beers for America
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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