Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
