I cockslap morals
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
