just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I smell like Dick and happiness
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
