The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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