who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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