Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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