we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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