i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
