me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
