I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
did i just pee glitter
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize