No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
