I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
